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I do not want a set of matching baggage

November 28, 2009

You know how tedious other people’s kids can be? I’ve just learned that their parents can be worse

I thought I wanted to date a single Dad. I just had my first ever date with a single Dad. I don’t want to date a single Dad anymore.

You know how tedious other people’s kids can be? I’ve just learned that their parents can be worse. This man was nice, good-looking, interesting and well-travelled. Not funny (note to self: Next time you read an online-dating ad that begins, “I’m a bit reserved when people first meet me”, translate to, “You will spend the first 15 minutes of our date counting the toothpicks and dreaming of stabbing them in your eyes to stay awake”), but not adverse to laughing at a female’s jokes like some men are. but ugh, when he started talking about his kids!

“Sarah is nine. She’s a lovely girl, but a bit bad at getting to sleep.”

“Fiona’s 11. She has hair your colour. [Ginga.] she got teased at school so we let her dye it brown now.”

“Juliette is 17…” No, no wait. let’s go back to Sarah and Fiona for a minute. Sarah is nine and won’t go to sleep? Hmroo? Nine? What do you do when she won’t sleep? Eh? You “lay next to her on the bed and stroke her hair??” Great! so if I ever came over to your place on a Saturday night, I’d be downstairs on my own watching Strictly Come Dancing until midnight while you’re upstairs playing Strictly Come Hair-Stroking? Just shove a story-CD in and tell her she’s on her own. My boys are six and 18-months. They sleep. I do not stroke hair. They sleep.

And while we’re on the subject of hair, you let an 11-year-old dye hers, just to avoid being bullied? Hello! How is that character-building? How will that help develop her self-confidence, feistiness or capacity for sassy come-backs? There’s a reason that redheads have a reputation for having red-tempers, you know, and it starts in the playground.

The rest of the date passed in a blur of bitten-back remarks and mental back-chat. By the end of the evening, my mouth was bulging with everything I hadn’t felt able to express. I worried that he’d try to kiss me and drown on a tsunami of opinions.

So it’s a good job that he didn’t even try, isn’t it. Isn’t it?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. singleandalmost30 permalink
    November 30, 2009 1:22 pm

    Funny you mentioned this…I’d always wanted to date a single dad. For years, I’ve gone back and forth on whether I really want to have children of my own and I figured if I met someone who already had a child, maybe two…that would be perfect.

    But last year, I dated a man with a 16 year old daughter and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…needless to say, I am now over single dads!

  2. July 14, 2010 8:08 am

    Hilarious!!!

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